LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
ASIO employee, Percy Warren-Smith (31) has spent another evening underwhelming a subsequent first date as he informs her that he is nothing like James Bond.
Finding time away from his overbearing job and goal of playing Breath of the Wild to 100% completion again, Warren-Smith is struggling to impress women with his job at the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation due to it taking place in an office space he is forbidden from personalising and not in the casinos of Monte Carlo or hidden lairs in the Gulf of Thailand.
“[My] name’s Warren-Smith. Percy Warren-Smith,” the data analyser quipped before making a noise between laughter and choking.
Warren-Smith states so far he has been on four Tinder dates with women who he admits probably swiped right to see if he had any good spy stories.
“I’m probably not meant to have ‘works at ASIO’ on my profile but we’re too busy fighting terrorism to worry about that. You’re welcome!”
So far, the inclusion of his place of work on his Tinder profile appears only to have been a hindrance as women seem less interested once they meet the 5’6’’ desk jockey, who’s funniest work related story involves a sandwich mix up in the lunch room.
Speaking exclusively with The Advocate, Warren-Smith’s recent Tinder match Cindy Tan (29) spoke about her date with the would be man of mystery and revealed that even her most base level expectations were not met.
“His job is so boring he’s actually allowed to tell me about quite a lot that goes on. I can’t believe these backbenchers get death threats”
“No he’s nothing like James Bond, not even like that lame CIA agent James Bond sometimes works with. But that’s not such a bad thing. James Bond is an aloof womaniser who lacks empathy and never stays in the same place for too long. I get plenty of that on Tinder already and Percy seems really nice.”
“He did make that lame joke about not having his Coke not shaken or stirred though so I probably won’t be seeing him again.”
