CLANCY OVERELL Editor | Contact

If the last few years weren’t bad enough for the ground staff of Australian airlines, it seems they are now being blamed for molten magma pushing through the Earth’s vents and fissures and erupting into Indonesian rainforest.

This comes as three Australian airlines have cancelled flights to and from Bali, due to a dangerous ash cloud.

The groundings affected Jetstar, Qantas and Virgin Australia flights on Tuesday and Wednesday, leaving furious Australian passengers stranded.

It can be revealed today that airline staff are being ordered to call their manager, and do something about this inconvenience.

This isn’t the first time that the aviation industry’s front desk and ground staff have been blamed for the natural phenomenas known as magmatic, phreatic and phreatomagmatic eruptions – and the distress they cause holidayers who have had their flights cancelled.

The same thing has happened in 2013, 2015 and 2019. Because Bali is just one of over 17,000 islands in Indonesia. And a lot of them have volcanoes.

However, due to the pandemic border closures, Australians had forgotten that international flights get cancelled for this very reason every couple of years, and cannot believe the airlines would do this to them.

At least 10 people have died amid a series of volcanic eruptions on the Indonesian island of Flores, the country’s national disaster management has said.

The eruption at Mount Lewotobi Laki-Laki on Monday night spewed thick brownish ash as high as 2km (1.24 miles) into the air and on to several villages, burning down houses including a convent of Catholic nuns.

However, the tragedy that is currently rocking southeastern Indonesia isn’t really a concern for Western Australian FIFO worker, Dane Goodman (33), because he’s got his own dramas.

“For fucks sake. When will they fix this shit” says Dane.

“Happens all the fucken time. I was spose to take off like an hour ago. That would’ve meant I was arriving in Kuta to surprise the boys at the Aussie Bar at sundown”

As a 20 year veteran of the Western Australian mining sector, Dane has perfected his covert trips to Bali, which usually take place on the back end of a two-week, without his wife or kids knowing.

“This has fucked everything” says Dane.

“Now what do I do? Go home for a long weekend with the family? Fuck that”

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