CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has gotten to work today, as he begins the long journey towards achieving net zero carbon emissions by 2050.
The goal is backed by more than 30 countries, including the United States and the European Union, which have signalled they will push for other countries to commit to the reduction at the climate change summit that the Prime Minister is scheduled to attend in Glasgow next week.
Speaking live from North-West New South Wales today, the Nationals leader sat on top of a wooden fence post surrounding a paddock full of merino ewes.
In his first press conference since blackmailing Prime Minister Scott Morrison into becoming his personal butler, Mr Joyce said his party had ensured a 30 per cent reduction in methane emissions by 2030 would not be part of the plan – but he would still have a crack at it anyway.
Joyce his party ensured agriculture was carved out of emissions reduction targets and that they had secured more funding for the regions, although that’s not to say the animals can’t do their part.
“It was absolutely within our document that methane was to be excluded” Mr Joyce said.
“But I’m gonna have a chat with some of the livestock to see if they can try to limit their flatulence in the meanwhile.
Mr Joyce said when the Nationals went into negotiations with the Liberals, the stance on a methane reduction target was “unclear”, but his party “absolutely affirmed” that he would be chatting to Australia’s 104 million strong nationwide flock of sheep – as well as the 28 million head of cattle that make up the beef industry.
“People think these wild beasts should be excluded from Climate Change action, but I say that’s bullshit” said Barnaby Joyce.
“We aren’t going to legislate a ban on anything. But I do think it’s fair enough to ask the the sheep and the cows to help out with the heavy lifting”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some woollen polluters that I need to educate on the Glasgow emmissions targets”
At time of press, Barnaby Joyce was seen standing in the middle of a paddock full of sheep, and demanding immediate climate action from them.
“Listen here you bastarrrrds!!!” shouted the Deputy Prime Minister.
“Put a cork in it”
“Stop the bloody farting!!!”
