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One of the rowdiest cities in the Australia when it comes to nightlife, the pubs and nightclubs of Brisbane city are hurtling towards the 2032 Olympics with momentum.
Aside from four weeks of lockdowns at the very start of the pandemic, the Brown Snake has not stopped growing it’s night economy in recent years.
Boasting mechanical bulls in the front bar of CBD hotels, a kilometre of new waterfront partying under the story bridge, and neon lights blasting all over the city’s landmarks – the Queensland capital is embracing their reputation as the Austin of Oz.
However, one new introduction to the rich cultural tapestry of Brisbane is those e-scooters that are banned in pretty much every other major city.
“Fuck they are good” says local Brisbane boy, Billy Chinchilla (23).
“We used to take them on pub crawls to get between A and B… But nowadays we spend the whole night on ’em.
“We just treat the city as one giant pub and the scooters are the bar stool.”
“I cannot explain how fucking fun these fucking things are”
However, not everyone is that stoked with this eccentric addition to the River City at nightfall.
In October the Queensland government increased fines targeting e-scooters, charging up to $575 for speeding, and $1000 for holding a phone.
The reforms include speed-limit reductions, mandated warning bells, and a tiered system of fines for offences that didn’t previously exist or were lumped into general categories of non-compliance.
The Queensland Premier, Steven Miles has reiterated the need for common sense when riding these things.
“Please don’t be dumb cunts” said the Premier, to a bunch of 18-24 men in Hawaiian shirts who were rolling through Queen street after the cricket on Saturday.
“Everywhere I look, I just see young morons like you that are inches away from breaking a limb”
“Just take it easy. Use it as transport, not some sort of ride”
The Opposition leader, David Crisafulli, a North Queenslander with a splash of Katter to him, disagrees with the Premier’s soft-cock attitude.
“Let the boys play I say” said Crisafulli
“Looks like fun. Probably is”
Meanwhile, Billy Chinchilla tells The Betoota Advocate that he promises to behave.
“Nah it’s not like that”
“Just to get around and stuff”
“Hahaha”
