CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian Prime Minister’s Central Coastification is happening at warp speed, after it was confirmed that Anthony Albanese has now sworn his loyalty to the 2251 for life.
This follows an entire week of news dedicated to the fact that Anthony Albanese and his new wife have bought a home in the Central Coast, with plans of possibly retiring there.
The fact that this house cost four million dollars has rattled caused a thunderous wave of backlash from Australian media commentators, many of whom live in houses that cost much more.
In fact, this purchase has been described as ‘Albanese’s Hawaii Moment’ and the Murdoch and Nine newspapers dislocate their shoulders in attempts to draw parallels between this news story and the time their beloved Scott Morrison lost the faith of Australian voters by fleeing on overseas holiday while the country burned.
Either way, the hysteria surrounding this world leader’s new home has at least forced the Australian media to admit the housing crisis exists, after years of pumping up a manipulated property bubble with their coordinated campaigns to shut down nightlife and relocate public housing residents away from suburbs that get lots of clicks on their real estate listings.
The fact that a world leader cannot even buy a house in his hometown should really be the focus of the news stories, but instead, the pundits are desperate trying to reframe the NSW Central Coast as the Australian equivalent of The Hamptons.
Which is certainly not the case.
As has been confirmed by Albanese’s recent Coastie rebrand.
Not only does the PM now drink and drive, and wear Hurley quick-dry t-shirts with White Oakley sunglasses, but he now has a lot of tattoos.
Including, but not limited to, the old english numbers now tattooed across his ribs. Courtesy of the famous inksmiths at Gorokan’s Alligator Ink.
It appears that Coastie Albo has now drawn a line in the sand. Anyone who has a problem with Copa, has a problem with him. His new 2251 postcode tattoo means he must engage in alcohol-fuelled violence whenever he hears anyone talking shit about his new Central Coast hometown.
He’s one of them now.
Fuck Terrigal. Fuck Avoca. But most of all, fuck Sydney.
