LOUIS BURKE | Budget | CONTACT
With the ABC looking at losing further $84 million in funding under the coalition’s 2018 budget, leader of the ABC Michelle Guthrie has stepped in and assured dedicated viewers these cuts are unlikely to make Q&A any worse.
Since 2014 the broadcaster has lost a cumulative $254 million in government funding, forcing them to adapt in order to serve world news to lefties who love their own opinion and regional news to those without much of a choice.
Guthrie admits these budget cuts will place considerable strain on the ABC but assures dedicated lovers of frustrating discourse that Q&A will still be the same petri dish of party line towing and unbalanced debate it has always been.
“It won’t be easy but we are committed to delivering the Monday evening sense of dread you experience from watching a discussion on climate change between a professor of particle science and a man who has never won a game of noughts and crosses,” stated Guthrie.
Critics are speculating the budget cuts could result in fewer panels featuring actual experts and may make way for more underqualified B-grade celebrities trying to flog a half-baked autobiography by discussing boat people.
“I’ve already received a text message from Sam Dastayari and 360 which I have both marked as ‘seen.’”
Q&A host Tony Jones has made it clear he will work hard to continue the program’s consistent pandering to all sides of the political spectrum while simultaneously ostracising them with his thinly veiled sense of contempt for every panel guest.
“If they think I’m taking a pay cut though they should get used to the idea of my moderating getting a bit looser and only directing questions towards grey nomads and creative arts high school students,” tweeted Jones.
In response to Jones’s comments, Guthrie assured viewers Jones will not be receiving a pay cut and will continue to be the smug centrist moderator that people without a hobby dearly crave.
“Haha don’t worry, no one who wears a suit to work is getting a pay cut.”
MORE TO COME.
