CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
It didn’t take local divorcee, Frankie (45) too long to realise that he needed to update his outfits.
Or as the kid call it, his ‘fits’.
After being burdened by marriage and parenthood for a decade and a half, Frankie is now free to ‘live his life again’.
This means spending weeknights getting intoxicated and watching live music.
He’s also moved to a ‘hip’ part of town, and is avoiding the crushing realities of complete independence by eating out every night.
While this lifestyle is not really sustainable for a man that has now parted ways with half of his assets, and probably not that healthy for a man who is stone’s throw from 50 – Frankie feels that it’s necessary for him to ‘get back out there’.
But things have changed. The modern bands don’t speak to his soul like they used to when he was a 20-something with eyes wide to the world. But the cocaine can do that for him.
The ‘Indie-Sleaze’ era skinny jeans that defined his youth are no longer en vogue. Neither are the ‘Pharrel Williams’ trucker hats. But that doesn’t mean he can’t update his wardrobe.
After one or two nights out on the tiles post divorce, Frankie was accused of being an undercover cop multiple times. It didn’t help that he was also asking around for recreational party drugs that no longer exist.
Luckily for Frankie, nowadays a comedown can be spent examining Instagram, and spending thousands of dollars on some impulsive online shopping.
It’s been a costly few months, as he comes to learn that a schooner now costs 6-times what it used to. But after a marriage breakdown, caused by a midlife crisis that sparked an irrational but burning desire to revisit his youth – Frankie thinks this is money well spent.
And his most recent spree of dates has only convinced him this is the case. Because he’s hooked up with a couple 20-something English chicks, and THAT is something to write home about.
However, his trendy new Peter Pan persona is still something that he is rather self-conscious about. And his old mates are very well equipped to cut him down to size.
“What the fuck is that haircut” says one of his most trusted confidantes over a few schooners yesterday.
“Glad you’re getting back out there, but Christ on a bike. Act your fucking age old man”
Frankie shrugs off the devastating criticisms of his new faded mullet.
“Oi anyone listened to the new Kendrick album?” he says.
