CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A dreadlocked Xavier Rudd-looking hippy currently banging out reggae ballads outside the CFMEU head office in Melbourne has told reporters that he’s just a hard working tradie who disagrees with the idea of mandatory jabs for construction workers.
This comes as more than 500 people dressed as construction workers have gathered outside the Construction, Forestry, Maritime, Mining and Energy Union (CFMEU) Victorian branch to take their frustrations with the state government out on the people who are the only reason that worksites have been able to keep operating right through this pandemic.
The Victorian government announced last week that it is asking all construction workers to have at least one jab by September 23, a mandate that the CFMEU claim they were not briefed on, and are yet to comment on.
CFMEU officials tried to cool things down but were met with anti-communist chants, which a is a pretty weird thing to see coming from a bunch of people claiming to be union members.
Attempts at talking with the protestors eventually descended into violence, as megaphones were broken over heads and bread crates hurled at the building.
At time of press, the crowd is only growing in numbers and protestors have since destroyed the front facade of Melbourne head office.
Meanwhile, hi-vis workwear is flying off the shelves in shopping centres right across Melbourne – as thousands of deranged conspiracists make their way to the city to pretend to be tradies who have an issue with the organisation that is responsible for them being able to work this entire lockdown.
However, the bongo-drum playing hippy currently sitting cross legged in the middle of this riot detests the suggestion that he isn’t a real tradie.
“Nah, i’m the real deal MATE” says Banjo Clementè (35), as he points to his hardhat, which is on back to front.
“I’ve been on the tools ever since I turned 16”
“I’m a fair dinkum trader”
“I’ve just my research into the construction union, and I think they take orders from Bill Gates, man”
“We all know the CFMEU does whatever the government tell them”
“But yeah, I’m still a member”
“Even though I’m currently destroying their property”
“Mate”
