CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Having eventually realised that they aren’t going to be able to stay afloat through print news, the Fairfax media empire has today put out a call for inner-city homeowners who feel their local businesses are open too late.
This comes after the shock announcement that Fairfax will be merging with fellow struggling media network, Channel 9.
With the fluke decision to not sell their only profitable asset, Domain.com.au, before the development of the hysterical Sydney property bubble – Fairfax has worked hard to ensure the online property portal remains profitable – by rapidly defaming iconic entertainment precincts until they are nothing more than day trade hubs of high rise apartment complexes for housing investors.
High-profile Domain writer, Mike Capper-Talganestacks, says that weaving their companies property listings into hard news can work well for everyone at Fairfax – except for the Herald journalists who are slowly being replaced by a newsroom of property speculators.
“Kate McClymont was told to stop investigating Mike Baird for corruption last year and to focus on alcohol-related crime – to see if we could find anywhere else like Kings Cross that needed shutting down”
“I mean, she’s brought down governments before, but I think she should focus on crimes that sell apartments, not the ones that get them built”
With Domain.com.au securing the listing for almost every apartment on the yet-to-be-built skyscrapers to replace the once vibrant nightlife precinct, Fairfax executives are already looking for new youth-oriented party strips to shut down.
“Possibly Kings Street in Newtown… Or Bondi beach… Who knows” said one unnamed director, who owns four investment properties in Potts Point that were much cheaper when backpackers still frequented the area in 2014.
“Maybe Fortitude Valley in Brisbane? Cavill Avenue?… Fairfax has a long way to go until we accept defeat and bow to our Channel 9 overlords”
“That’s providing that young men keep getting hospitalised by one punch attacks”
“But that’s almost a sure bet when you cram 20,000 excited partygoers into the one place every single night with little to no police presence”
“Woohoo!”
