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Following on from the let down of the all-female Ghost Busters and Ocean’s 11 remakes, fans of the 1980s Queensland say they are skeptical about the current state Labor government’s reboot of the iconic Sir Joh-era.
In this new production, the Queensland Labor are reprising all of the nostalgic conservative policy and anti-free-speech sentiment harboured by the majority National Party government of yesteryear.
The new blockbuster state government is hoping to relive the success of the iconic character that was Sir Johannes Bjelke-Petersen – who was the longest-serving Premier of Queensland, holding office from 1968 to 1987, during which time the state underwent considerable economic development and uncompromising conservatism.
It is not yet known if the remake will include state-wide bans on condoms and Special Branch police officers being sent to gay beats to violently bash homosexual men – but it has been confirmed that they will be arresting protesting and fast-tracking laws to have them charged and incarcerated for criticising the government.
Inala MP Annastacia Palaszczuk has been cast as ‘Premier Johanna’, while her deputy Jackie Trad plays ‘Ms Hinze’ and current Environment Minister Kate Jones has taken on the role of ‘The bagwoman’ – who specialises in collecting bribes.
However, die-hard fans of the original say that the Palaszczuk isn’t up to the task, and the new production is barely even a nod to the era of Queensland politics thats brought us Expo 88 and phone-tapping of Aboriginal activists.
One notable omission from the remake is Sir Joh’s prioritising of regional Australian issues, as Johanna is seen to be crucifying farmers for clearing invasive flora on their own properties and in turn blaming them for what her pedophiliac coal lobbyists are doing to the Great Barrier Reef.
The calls for a remake came from deep within Labor’s internal polling, after realising they hard completely lost touch with Australia’s suburban and rural working classes after Anna Bligh took a job as a lead spokesperson for the Australian Banking Association.
However, Palaszczuk hopes the rusted on fans of 1980s Queensland may be swayed to get behind Johanna – after passing new laws to hand out convictions to the protestors currently holding road blocks in the top-end of Brisbane.
In recent months, climate change activists have ramped up efforts to disrupt the coal-mining sector, including by blocking machinery and freight routes. There is a dedicated campaign to disrupt the activities of businesses bidding for contracts with the Adani Carmichael project, which has been identified as the nail in the coffin for the Great Barrier Reef, which represents 90% of sea-life species in the world.
She has also sent Special Branch cops down to Musgrave Park to keep an eye on those militant blaks.
