CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local mouthbreather, Corey Boyden (30), has today proven to his greater friendship circle that he can actually have a good time without needing to engage in an antisocial amount of in-depth cricket and football analysis with fellow jocks.
The former Met-East hurdler turned soft drink and flavoured milk sales rep appears to be the life of the party at a social event tonight, and he hasn’t once asked the host if he can quickly throw on Fox Sports to check the score of the 3rd division Thai womens soccer semi finals.
As the ‘February Lull’ continues between the Summer test series and the long-awaited round one matches for the winter football codes – everyone just assumed that Corey would have just hid away for the next few weeks and kept pretending to enjoy NBA.
But today he’s surprised them all by rocking up to a house party in a vibrant shirt and not cornering the first bloke he sees with cauliflower ears.
“Corey is in fine form tonight” comments one friend, Scotty, who has only just gotten back into Corey’s good books after he staged a failed ten-person intervention for his severe online sports betting addiction.
“Someone said they saw him dancing. And talking to chicks”
As the night grows rowdier, and Corey remains solidly planted in the middle of the living room, his friends are growing more confused by the minute.
That’s until a couple of them do a walk-by to eavesdrop on what he’s talking about.
“Oh fuck!” says a housemate, Andrew.
“He’s just doing Anchorman quotes”
Corey’s long-time kind-of-love-interest-but-not-really-because-he-can’t-take-the-hints, Sarah, is also crushed by this news.
“Dammit. I thought he was yelling funny one-liners that he’d made up himself.”
“I should have recognised his Frank The Tank routine when I saw it the first time”
“Oh shit! Now he’s onto Stepbrothers”
