CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A german national who has spent the last three months pulling beers for the feral drunks at the front bar of the Bedourah Hotel, has been pretty quiet about her plans to fuck off to Bondi the moment Peter Dutton lets her.
It’s not that Marlene Dietrich (23) has found herself in uncomfortable situations with the locals, it’s not because off the cultural barriers. In fact most of these degenerates are quite grandfatherly with her and she’ll remember them forever.
The main reason she wants to leave is because this two-horse brothel town is fucking shit.
“I like Joe, Pete, Keith, Kerry, Bruce and Rocco” she says.
“They are beautiful old men”
“But this town sucks shit and there’s nothing to do other than drink with Joe, Pete, Keith, Kerry, Bruce and Rocco while I’m supposed to be worthing”
However, according to the locals, Marlene is loving the place and can’t believe she’s gone her whole life without hearing about Bedourah.
“She might stay you know” says local drunk Keith.
“Reckons she loves the place”
However, even with the old girls on the pokies constantly offering their sons as romantic partners, Marlene confides in our reporters that while the town is quite charming – she will be jumping in the cab of the first road train that pulls through come July.
When asked by our reporters if any of the local footy players that come in on Friday nights after their match are worth hanging out with, Marlene says fuck no.
“Fighting does not impress me” she says of the town’s young male population.
“At least the old men go outside to do it”
