LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
NSW Premier and huge Amy Schumer fan Gladys Berijiklian has finally decided this trainwreck of a year go and get effed.
She’s going on a road trip.
Working hard for the people of NSW, Hot Mess Gladys burnt eight CDs of her perfect road trippin’ playlist to spin all the way to Byron Bay in her groovy new campervan.
“It was hard to get a good affordable auto but I’m not driving manual, I literally can’t even think about that right now!” stated the hot mess that 64% of NSW residents are still proud to call their premier.
“I wanted a greener vehicle but you know how I have to constantly appease the right wing of my party who don’t believe that burning fossil fuels has any affect on the environments et cetera”
Like anyone who has gotten out of a bad relationship, Hot Mess Gladys is hoping a trip to the spiritually free town on the NSW North Coast will re-centre her and help her to forget about all the corruption she doesn’t seem to recall anyway.
“It’s so different up there.”
“I know I shouldn’t say this because I am the premier of NSW, I mean sometimes, but it’s like it’s own state up here.”
“Not exactly Bondi, not exactly Brissy”
“Everyone is just bursting with positive energy that why the whales and dolphins come so close to the shore, they want a piece of the good vibes too”
Although Hot Mess Gladys admits she could easily redirect some taxpayer funds towards her trip, she is adamant that she will pay her way north by giving braids to other free spirits from her muffler adjacent braiding station.
“@gladys.b.braidinvanlife is already getting some heat on Insta, now all I need are the good vibes laid out for the road ahead of me.”
At the time of writing, The Hot Mess Bus was somewhere near Port Macquarie, trying her best to not kill anymore koalas.
MORE TO COME.
