CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local woman’s Earth-shattering hangover has this morning resulted in her refreshing her food delivery app for the fourth time in one minute, in what can only be describe as an act of pure desperation.
In her current festering state, Millie Bryan has ordered a mid-morning feast from her local Thai restaurant which we understand she plans to consume in bed.
Reaching out to Ms. Bryan during this trying time, the Advocate has managed to find out what exactly she has ordered and whether or not her rapid refreshing technique is hurrying the food along or just making her pain worse.
“Ugghhh, it’s definitely making it worse” she moaned into the phone.
“I get my hopes up that something will have changed but it hasn’t”
“I just want my food to get here already! I’m watching every mistake the cyclist is making. He’s really bad with roundabouts”
Our reporter then pushed Ms. Bryan to delve further into her actual order.
“I wanted everything, pad Thai, money bags, massaman beef and sticky rice”
“Oh, and satay chicken skewers – don’t food shame me, I’m fragile.”
To end up in her current state, it’s reported that Miles drank enough alcohol last night to drown a large child, hopping between bars and pubs before heading home via her favourite Indian Kebab shop – evident only by the remnants of tandoori staining her fingers and bed sheets.
At the time of print, it’s not yet known how many more times Millie refreshed her application – she may still be there festering in her own bin juice and starving.
