“Is That Enough For Two?” Asks Human Skip Bin About To Derail Date Night With A Few More Share Plates

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

It appears that Thursday evening date night has been hijacked by an impressive menu, as one local big bopper begins to let loose on the share plates.

Portly local gent, Bruce Hanson (40) wants the waiter to know that his ability to ingest medium priced Australian cuisine will surprise ya.

He’s also taking full advantage of the fact that his wife, Kelly (38), very rarely pays attention to the order after outlining the one meal she wants.

But in a restaurant that proudly boasts that they ‘do things a bit differently here’ –  the structural steel installation expert is getting away with extreme over-ordering, because technically this is for the two of them.

As it stands, the well-marbled father of two has ordered some sort of green chicken curry, a noodle dish, a cut of meat, garlic and broccoli (so the missus can’t say he isn’t eating his greens), a potato dish that has cheese in it, and some light entrees.

The misso has completely tuned out as Brucey charms the waiter. She has no idea what’s coming.

As the waiter attempts to wrap up the needlessly long conversation full of mundane questions about fairly self-explanatory menu items, the big fella has just one more thing to ask.

“Oi”

“You reckon this will be enough for just two of us?” he asks.

Kelly tunes back in, she’s also heavily invested both this question and answer.

Brucey stares into the soul of the waiter, sending him telepathic signals.

“Umm..” says the waiter, clearly aware that the accruing bill is something that Brucey is willing to wear, as long as he get the permission to continue ordering.

“You could do a bit more. Depends”

“Ohh” says Brucey, feigning surprise.

“Ya reckon?”

“Well in that case I really like the look of this lamb thingo. Chuck that in”

“Also what about these ribs?”

The waiter looks on in both disgust and awe.

“Sure. Um we can do that”

“Any drinks?”

Brucey chuckles.

“Haha just table water thanks mate. Don’t wanna go too crazy on a schoolnight”