CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With number of new COVID-19 cases in Queensland now very low, State Government is slowly beginning to take careful steps to ease some of the restrictions that have helped suppress the spread of this virus.
Pubs are set to slowly begin re-opening next month, and households are now allowed to invite up to five people inside to socialise.
However, coronavirus restrictions continue to affect everyday life with the remaining social-distancing measures that are still in place.
Because of this, simple pre-coronavirus human interactions are nw being utilised for intimidation.
Local dad, Todd Sultan (34) has today decided to step it up a notch.
This comes after months of tension over where his sons should spend their time during quarantine, and a relentless stream of passive aggressive text messages between him and their stepdad.
After being invited inside by his sons to help carry a new diorama assignment, Todd played it cool in front of his ex-wife Kelly – who he remains on great terms with.
However, when her new pencil neck husband Dale came in to suss out all the excitement, Todd couldn’t help himself.
“HOW ARE YA CHAMP?” said Todd, in almost baritone big boy voice.
“Yeah. Not bad, Todd. How are you, mate” said Dale, as he began to internally ask himself questions about whether or not Todd was going to actually do it.
Todd was going to actually do it.
“Yeah. Not bad either mate” Todd says, while extending his hand with great enthusiasm,
Dale, with no other input from his wife who seems to have momentarily forgotten all social-distancing measures after being distracted by what she beleives to be a heartwarmingly friendly exchange, is stuck.
Todd’s hand waggles momentarily as Dale treads water.
After a couple brutal seconds of silence, Dale concedes to a double grip handshake with his wife’s ex-husband.
While the rare skin-on-skin contact with another human feels surprisingly pleasant, the feeling is dampened by the fact that Dale knows he’s just been severely alpha’d.
Todd’s work here is done.
“Anyway. They had a bit of cheese and bickies after school but they should be hungry again by dinner. Have a good one you guys!” he says, as he rapidly winds things up.
“See ya on the weekend boys!”
Todd leaves the house feeling like Denzel Washington as his sons wave to him from the door.
At time of press, Todd was frantically applying hand sanitiser in his car while driving back home with both windows down.
