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The rise of cluttered kitchen benches has been blamed solely on the iconic British celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, who has for many years spruiked heavy duty kitchenware.
A pestle and mortar is a kitchen device used since ancient times to prepare ingredients or substances by crushing and grinding them into a fine paste or powder. Most recently, the suburban households with mums and dads who worship the naked chef.
The mortar is a bowl, typically made of hard wood, ceramic or stone. The pestle is a heavy and blunt club-shaped object, the end of which is used for crushing and grinding. The substance to be ground is placed in the mortar and ground, crushed or mixed using a pestle.
Pestles and Mortars have been used in cooking up to the present day; they are frequently also associated with the profession of pharmacy due to their historical use in preparing medicines. They can also be used in masonry and in other types of construction.
However, the availability of electronic kitchen goods have since rendered the extremely heavy and expensive ‘wedding present’ relatively pointless, and they are now the biggest contributor to clutter in the kitchens of Australia’s aspirational class.
Hoarding and compulsive acquisition has been listed as Australia’s fastest growing mental illness by several of the country’s largest medical research bodies. But while the condition is often associated with the elderly refusing to throw out 40 years worth of newspapers, the nation’s young parents have also been examined in this study.
“What we’ve found is that Australian mums are also quite prone to hoarding pointless shit that handsome British boy has told them to buy” said a lead researcher from Monash University, Professor Petero Thaiday.
“The same goes for the dads who think they will impress the misso by doing as that handsome British boy does”
“Like, deadset. How many times do you reckon the mortar and pestle has been given a work-out? Once, twice? Five times tops”
“Get rid of the shit”
