CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Malcolm Turnbull can relax this week, knowing that anything he does will no longer be considered sniping or wrecking by his former colleagues in the Liberal Party.
This comes as Scott Morrison announces the safest cabinet in decades, after the safest election win in decades.
Turnbull, who has done his very best to avoid making public statements since his ousting as Prime Minister in late August, except for when he demanded we send millions of dollars to help France restore that old church that burnt down, is now finally in a position where he can be his true self.
“It looks good, huh” says Turnbull, while pushing up the sides of his new purple bob haircut.
After nearly 9 months since his resignation from Federal Politics, the former Member For Wentworth is finally able to go out in public looking like the fringe anarcho-feminist that he really is.
“I saw someone rocking this look at Redfern station about a year ago, but obviously I couldn’t get this haircut while everyone was accusing me of being a leftie sleeper cell”
“Obviously I’m not a true leftie because I don’t believe in paying tax, but I do have an environmentalist side, and I feel this new haircut shows that”
However, Turnbull says this doesn’t mean he isn’t excited for the new era of the Liberal Party.
“I am very ambitious for the Liberal Party’s new leader. Congratulations Scott. “
“You have surprised a lot of us. I would have never thought that whole ‘new money’ thing would have worked for you”
At time of press, Malcolm Turnbull was seen using a pay phone on Oxford street, where he was sending draft tweets in morse code by coughing down the line to his son, Alex.
