CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the Queensland State Election just over two months away, Ascot-based LNP voter Lawrence Seeney (67) really wants to hate this Steven Miles bloke.
Aside from the fact that he naturally opposes the idea of Labor leading any form government, Mr Seeney has a couple of personal gripes with the current Queensland premier.
Namely, it’s the fact that as QLD Health Minister, Miles played second fiddle to the previous Labor Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk – played a big part in the downfall of the Liberals at a Federal Level.
“Look, I know I’m the minority here.” says Lawrence.
“Every old fuck that looks like me voted her in by a landslide during the pandemic. She told em what they wanted to hear. Barbed wire state borders and quarantine facilities that were built two year too late”
“She gave them a bit of Joh, and they gobbled it up. Queensland loves a dictator. And a Queensland dictator has the power to overthrow a half-wit Liberal Prime Minister. But that doesn’t change the fact that our economy slid backwards for that half a decade of press conferences. And this new bloke was standing up there next to her every day”
Aside from that, Lawrence doesn’t really have a dog in the fight for the upcoming state election.
He’s a semi-retired banker from Ascot with the type of home security system that could put a youth criminal in handcuffs before his 11 year old labrador even barks.
He’s got his assets secured and his kids are old enough to be on the right side of the housing crisis. What could the LNP offer him in 2024 other than the royal blue colours he’s always voted for. Which is more than Labor has ever tempted him with.
Until last week.
After a skinful at the Brisbane Rowers on the Sunday before last, Lawrence ended up getting pinched high-range at 0.16% in the LandCruiser. This means he is now catching the LoserCruiser to the beach house.
His wife, who has never held a drivers licence, refuses to take a helicopter after what happened to that American basketballer. And the blokes that drive those private cars do his head in with all the conspiracy theories they read on the internet.
That means he’s now relying on the 3 and half hour public transport commute between Ascot and Noosa.
And it’s costing him less than it did the last time he lost his licence in 1997.
This Labor cost-of-living measure is now causing problems at the Sunshine Beach surf club, as Lawrence subconsciously begins defending some of the stuff this government’s been doing.
“Don’t get me wrong. I can’t stand the bloke. But imagine how much these trips woulda cost me before he came in?” Lawrence tells a group of hostile old LNP diehards who secretly voted for Annastacia because they didn’t want to die from that virus.
“Not everyone is lucky enough to drive a 80 grand Toyota”
“I mean, imagine a single mother trying to get to and from work with a childcare drop off both ways. She’s not travelling 15 minutes in and out of town like we do…”
Lawrences pauses mid sentence.
“Wait… Do I sound like a leftie?”
His mates slowly nod in disbelief. He overcorrects.
“Anyway, how bout that 20% off car rego he’s just announced. Like that’ll do me any good. These blokes just spend like mad”
