KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The Bureau of Meteorology has confirmed the nation’s crippling man-drought is set to continue, after females across the country were subject to another weekend of dud dates.
The Advocate can report of one such incident, in which an unnamed 29-year-old male arrived at a licensed premise wearing a grubby hospital mask, that had spent the majority of lockdown moving between several lint stuffed jacket pockets.
Speaking to long-suffering dating app user Jess Kerr (26), the blatant display of putrid behaviour was enough reason to cut the date short and not even bother to stick around for a first drink.
“I was actually kinda keen on this guy, we’d been speaking for two weeks on an app and he was amazingly able to string more than two sentences together,” said Kerr
It’s believed after several days of texting and sharing the occasional flirty joke, Miss Kerr made plans to meet the local bachelor at downtown Betoota whisky and tapas bar, The Fox and Hunter.
“As soon as I saw him walk up to me wearing that crumpled blue rag over his face, I just gave up!”
“We’ve been in this pandemic for 18 months and you’re telling me guys are still getting around with a mouldy hospital mask that’s collected the odd coffee stain?!’
“I’d rather a guy turn up wearing some flowery number that his Grandma’s clearly sewed up for him, at least then you know he’s got a bit of family values in him”.
After witnessing the dud male arrive, The Advocate understandz Mis Kerr sent him to the bar whilst discreetly exiting the establishment to catch an Uber home.
It’s believed after sharing the story within her all girls WhatsApp chat, Miss Kerr’s inner circle has planned to resolve the issue with a bottomless brunch next weekend.
More to come.
