CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After a taxpayer funded break in New York City, multi-millionaire and “former Prime Minister” Malcolm Turnbull has reportedly spent the whole day on the phone with Medicare as he tries to opt out of his MyHealthRecord account.
Taking the call from his Apple Watch, Turnbull slowly paced around his Point Piper mansion as the call waiting music filled his third living room while Bargain Hunt played in the background on mute.
“Hello? Is anybody going to pick up? I haven’t got all day,” lied Turnbull, jabbing a thumb towards his 85 inch TV screen.
“Bloody repeat.” he whispered.
Although Turnbull was Prime Minister while the controversial MyHealthRecord began to roll out across the nation, he is taking a rare approach to policies he had nothing to do with by distancing himself from it.
“Yes, I was across it, so I should know better than anyone, which I usually do, that you should opt out today! There has never been a better time to opt out of MyHealthRecord!”
According to Turnbull, his involvement in the project was limited to coming up with taglines for MyHealthRecord which included: ‘From the people who brought you the NBN: It’s MyHealthRecord.’
The former Prime Minister states that although the system will be secure, he does not want to entertain the idea of his medical history being common knowledge.
“Insurance companies will not have access to MyHealthRecord, no. Although some friends of ours in the the insurance sector may poke their head in for a cheeky sweetener now and then.”
As our reporters left the premises, Turnbull was still on hold with Medicare and from the street could be heard barking that this was “all Labor’s fault,” and screaming out in pain as he kicked the corner of his Kings leather sofa in anger.
MORE TO COME.
