CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With all analysts pointing to a convincing victory for Shorten in tomorrow’s Federal Election, it appears the once fragmented ALP has closed ranks for the final lap.
Yesterday it was reported that one of the biggest ongoing rivalries within the Labor powerbrokers had been put to bed, after the Opposition leader offered Anthony Albanese his dream cabinet position in the incoming government.
However, it seems Albanese’s newfound loyalty to Bill Shorten has gone above and beyond, after the ever-inconvenient Labor spanner Sam Dastyari was found hostage in a vacant houso flat in Sydney’s Camperdown today.
Dastyari, who hasn’t been within 100 metres of a microphone or TV camera for this whole election campaign, was officially listed a missing person by his boss Kyle Sandilands a week ago.
Police say Sandilands made the call after he realised he hadn’t humiliated Dastyari on live radio for over a week.
While the former Labor senator and disgraced Chinese colluder was found in a stable condition, today’s discovery suggests he might not be that popular within his old party.
Albanese, who has never shown any love to Dastyari despite both growing up in a similar part of the country, is alleged to have done Bill Shorten the ultimate favour by keeping his former protege the fuck away from the media.
Witnesses say Albo was alleged to have employed the services of some childhood friends who still live in the Camperdown housing commission to this day.
“When Albo comes down to the blocks with a meat tray, we know two things” said one local.
“Either he needs a new set of tyres for the charger, or he needs someone to disappear”
