CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
PAY UP SCOTTY: The people of Australia have made it clear that they’re sick of the talking. Where’s the cash Scotty. Pay up bra.
This comes as Scotty From Marketing continues to skirt around a new policy that aims to give every Australian a cash incentive for getting jabbed.
The Leader of the Opposition, whose name is Anthony Albanese, has proposed that the government should grant a $300 payment to “every person who has received both jabs by December 1.
However, the PM described Labor’s idea to pay people to get a jab as a “vote of no confidence” in Australians, who he believes are not having any trouble dissecting the countless mixed messages he has been sending about the importance of getting immunised against this virus that he let leak into our community by refusing to build quarantine facilities for overseas arrivals.
After being spooked by the realisation that someone else may have a solution to the problems he has caused, Scotty has once again underplayed the seriousness of Australia’s bungled jab roll-out, before Australians start asking where their cash is.
“…It says to them that any health concerns that they have can be paid off” says the bloke who has created these very health concerns by generating fear about the extremely rare possibility of suffering blood clots in an effort to distract the nation from the fact that he hadn’t ordered enough jabs to begin with he is not a very reliable in the middle of crisis.
The PM says unfortunately for Australians, it goes against his core political ideologies to give working people money that could be better spent keeping Gerry Harvey rich enough to advertise in the NewsCorp papers that get him elected.
“…doing it for the cash, I do not think is what would motivate an Australian” says Scotty From Marketing, a man who has never had a job that didn’t require him to push pencils behind a desk, and can’t fully fathom how many Australians actually have to do a lot of shit they don’t want to do in the pursuit of cash.
Despite his efforts to avoid this, the Australian people have made it clear they are sick of Scotty’s talking.
“We ain’t doing this on tick bra” says Australia.
“300 cash”
“Be out front soon”
