CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The nation is mourning the death of Australia’s 23rd prime minister Bob Hawke, who died yesterday aged 89.
The final day of the 2019 election campaign seems been overshadowed by the death of the last universally loved character of Australian politics, with tributes continuing to pour in from right around the world.
However, as was expected, the best tribute today are coming in the shape of heavily exaggerated yarns from the exact bloke you’d imagine to be telling the best yarns. Overweight retirees at the local hotel.
This comes as Australia’s pubs and bars have today reported a sharp spike in old dribblers telling thousands of variations of the same 5 or 6 stories about Bob Hawke.
Younger patrons are urged to listen in, because these blokes have a mate who knows a bloke who was actually there.
The recent report has also found that this kind of Hawkey chat is great for business. As the underlying theme of all yarns is one of excessive drinking.
“I really don’t mind the tall stories” says Ken Boyd, publican of Betoota’s Lord Kidman Hotel.
“I’ve heard that story about Hawkey getting into a car with those strangers about 30 times this arvo, and I can tell you, it is ten times better than the usual milky chat I hear the night before an election”
“Rest in peace, Bob. Thanks for keeping ’em pissed tonight”
