CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Elodie Pappas (16) today joins thousands of young Australians who can no longer afford the tools to develop her critical thinking skills, as the Senate passes new laws that will dramatically increase the cost of studying humanities.
Under the changes, the cost of social sciences and humanities degrees will more than double, while also removing government support for students who fail too many courses – like the politicians who introduced the laws did.
Elodie, who is tipped to become Australia’s greatest artistic export by anyone who has seen her paintings, is unfortunately not born into the right economic caste to pursue her dreams of winning Australia’s most coveted art prizes and cementing herself as the nation’s answer to Pablo Picasso.
Instead, she will be enrolling in Property Economics, and will spend her lifetime showing similarly brain-numb young corporates around overvalued properties that she would never be able to afford herself, unless she marries well.
Education Minister Dan Tehan says the changes will give students cost incentives to study subjects that will prepare them for fields where jobs are needed, like mining and real estate.
He says far too many young people are studying pointless courses like the Arts degree he received for free. Or the economic geography degree Scott Morrison received for free, before becoming a lifelong bureaucrat who was sacked from every job he ever had outside of politics.
While Elodie knows she can’t afford the 50,000 dollars it will cost her to study both the practice and theory of fine art at an elite institution, she finds solace in the fact that she will never become one of these smug academics that the Federal government has manufactured as the enemy of the Australian people in their fictional narrative that portrays them as champions of the working class.
“It’s not all bad” she says, holding back tears.
“Maybe I’ll study construction management. That’s kind of like art. You get to oversee the construction of giant apartment buildings like the Opal Tower. Some people would view that as creative”
“Maybe I get study a degree that gets me a job in the mining sector. I hear you get to visit some beautiful Australian landscapes as a FIFO”
“Even if they have a massive open cut mine in the middle of them”
Senator Jacqui Lambie, a vocal opponent of these new changes has today lamented the demolition of opportunities for small town dreamers like Elodie.
“I refuse to be the vote that tells poor kids out there … no matter how gifted, no matter how determined you are, might as well dream a little cheaper, because you’re never going to make it, because you can’t afford it.”
