CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A morbidly overweight nephew is yet to be pulled up on his grotesque consumption of Christmas treats, it has been confirmed.
The ADHD-suffering son of a flakey panel beater and hypochondriac property manager has reportedly put away up to twelve of Nan’s special fruit mince pies.
However, it is the brandy-drizzled fruit cake that appears to be the most appealing to the young fella, who was last seen manhandling a very large and sharp kitchen knife – cutting slices that not even the drunk adults would think was appropriate.
That, as well as seven tumbler-sized plastic cups of Fanta.
It appears that the husky little fella, who goes by the name of Tristain, has been given full dietary immunity after an earlier tantrum surrounding the fact that he didn’t get an iPhone for Christmas.
Tristain’s mum, Amelia (35) says she is just “too stressed” to do anything about it and just go easy, it’s Christmas.
More to come.
