CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Tens of thousands of partygoers remain stranded at the iconic Burning Man festival, after a storm left roads closed and swamped the entire site with mud and water.
Authorities remain hopeful that the muddy roads will soon reopen within the week, and allow attendees to begin their exodus from the northern Nevada desert.
However, as of today emergency services insist that it still too wet for a safe mass departure of camper vans and other vehicles – as the remaining climate change hostages are left to ration supplies, ironically the very sense of community that this countercultural festival once aimed to achieve.
Organisers also asked attendees not to attempt exiting the disaster site by walking 6 kilometres to the nearest arterial highway. They didn’t specify why, but probably because they are very well aware of the average tech bros ability to accidentally make the situation a lot worse for themselves by venturing into the wild.
However, amidst all the mud and forfeited influencer content obligations, the very worst news to come from this is the fact that every person who has ever previously been to Burning Man now has complete license to talk about their own experiences.
“I feel so sorry for all them” says Betoota-based Burner, Kyle Mach (34).
“But yeah”
“Burning Man hasn’t been that authentic for a while now”
Kyle isn’t saying the exact words, but like most Burners, he has an insatiable desire to explain that the major countercultural festival has sold out to ‘corporates’ – minimising the experiences of everyone who has attended the event since he did, in 2019.
“Yeah” he says.
“Even without the storms… It was way different when I went.”
When asked to explain what his Burning Man experience was like, Kyle had only one word for our reporters.
“Indescribable”
