CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In the face of recharged debate surrounding the Federal Government’s obligation to provide quarantine facilities that aren’t re-badged luxury hotels in the middle of the CBD, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has once been quick to outline exactly what his job isn’t.
Despite the fact that the Australian constitution specifically outlines that issues surrounding quarantine are the direct responsibility of the commonwealth, the states have primarily handled quarantine since Australia closed its borders last March.
However, Morrison has today come out on the front foot and defended the current set-up, which sees State Premiers working alongside the hotel industry to do all the heavy lifting.
This doesn’t change the fact that a vast majority of Australia’s post-border-closure lockdown outbreaks have stemmed from leaks in this makeshift system, including Victoria’s deadly second wave and the recent cluster in WA.
However, like most pressing political issues, the PM insists it isn’t his job to put together an alternative option.
After lowering the community expectations surrounding his responsibility to lead on the leaky hotel quarantine, bushfire response and sexual assaults in his own workplace – Morrison has taken it one further today by micromanaging the basic backyard chores in Kirribilli House.
“Look I’m sorry Jenny” Morrison told his wife, after being forced to address the state of the unkempt lawn at their tax-payer-funded residence.
“But I was of the understanding that this was something Gladys was on top of”
“It really has always been this way. And when we’re staying in Queensland, Annastacia is the one in charge of making sure the lawns in Kangaroo Point are fit for a Prime Minister’s wife”
Jenny went on to point out that there was a fully operational lawn mower sitting not even five metres away from them, and that surely he could just throw on one of his forty-two Cronulla Sharks training jerseys and tidy it up a bit.
The PM pushed back against his wife’s suggestion that he could maybe just do a bit of work for the sake of getting things done, asserting “I don’t hold a hose, Jenny. I don’t own a small landscaping business”
“I most importantly, I don’t operate a mower”
“I went to uni, remember, and then I went to Canberra. I’m not one of those people who work on the ground level”
When Jenny asked if he held any concerns that maybe one of their daughters might be at risk of stumbling across a snake or a funnel-web in the overgrown grass, Scotty From Marketing told his wife of 30 years that he rejected the premise of her question”
MORE TO COME.
