CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has drawn a line today and has demanded an apology from the biggest bloke in the pub regarding ‘repugnant comments’ made about his beloved Cronulla Sharks.
During a rare non-election campaign pub visit in the Western Suburbs, Mr Morrison encountered a local motorcycle enthusiast Noah Grenadier who was about to take a sip of his first cold one of the weekend.
Appearing unimpressed on having his wet whistle delayed for a chance to elbow bump someone he would never vote for, the lifelong Bulldogs fan took the opportunity to tell the Prime Minister that the Sharks suck and that they are drug cheats.
“You what?” said the Prime Minister in a cockney accent.
“You mess with the shark-oes you mess with me chum!”
“You wanna see me make such a big deal out of this that everyone forgets that your REPUGNANT comments are simply highlighting well documented institutional failings and regressive cultural issues within an institution that many people hold close to their hearts!!?”
“Do ya, huh?!”
“Take it back!!!”
Security was forced to intervene when Mr Morrison attempted to rip off his shirt which he was unable to do due to his hands being balled into tight fists.
“I’m gonna smash you like we smashed the Stormies in the GF in whatever year that was!”
After promising to behave, Mr Morrison remained at the bar on the condition that Grenadier apologise for his repugnant comments.
Grenadier promptly refused and then enjoyed what might have been the best sip of beer in his entire life.
Morrison then attempted to further escalate the situation one last time by destroying all trade deals with the much bigger and far more intimidating patron, who then made it clear he doesn’t want to buy Aussie coal anyway.
It is believed the Prime Minister’s convoy made a brief stop at McDonalds on the way home, following the humiliating defeat.
MORE TO COME.
