CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The ADHD-riddled Member For Bowman is no longer a threat to innocent young women in public, as the Prime Minister doubles efforts to help him find a way to stop acting like a fuckwit.
The embattled weirdo MP stands accused of taking photographs of a young woman’s exposed underpants without permission – in her place of work. Upon being caught upskirting – he was ordered to delete the photos from his phone by her colleagues and told to fuck off.
The woman claims she was on her knees in a crouching position while filling a bar fridge at a Brisbane landscaping supply company, prompting her to make a police complaint.
He has also been accused of relentlessly trolling two female constiutents on Facebook – which pushed one of them to the brink of suicide.
Even in the wake of the sexual harrassment allegations, the Prime Minister has refused to sack Laming – knowing all too well that he would find himself in minority government if he did so.
However, this hasn’t stopped him from trying to ‘address’ this weird cunt’s highly inappropriate behaviour.
First, Laming was ordered by his Liberal Party bosses to undertake an intensive ’empathy training’ program, which turned out to just be an online webinar course, which the MP now believes has left him with ‘too much empathy’ – according to a recent news.com.au article.
On top of that, he’s also provided his problematic backbencher with a fidget spinner, to help avoid any further allegations of sexual harassment by neutralising the effects of his newly diagnosed condition, ADHD
On Wednesday, Mr Laming revealed the shock medical diagnosis, something that says explains his erratic and downright abusive behaviour.
It is not yet known if the Coalition leadership will backpedal on the decision to not sign off on Laming’s pre-selection in his swinging bayside seat in Brisbane’s Redlands – but it’s good to know that the problem is a simple behavioural condition that ten-year-old schoolboys are able to manage, and nothing as scary as a culture of misogyny and sexual entitlement within the ranks of the Liberal Party.
But for now, the fidget spinner is a good short-term solution to this overbearing burden currently hanging above the entire government.
“This’ll fix him” said Morrison.
“This fidget spinner is something to occupy him when he starts getting hyper and feels like sexually harassing a complete stranger in her workplace”
“Poor bugger’s got ADHD ya know”
MORE TO COME.
