CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It seems Scotty From Marketing is starting to panic as the label ‘The Liar From The Shire’ begins to stick.
This comes after another week of the Prime Minister making wildly untrue statements, and being forced to retract them, before claiming he never said anything at all.
On top of this, the fateful Hawaii holiday that the PM took at the height of the Black Summer Bushfires is now back in the headlines, now that the journalists are starting to fact check everything he has ever said on the public record.
Australians are now only just remembering the most blatant lie he ever told, which was when he denied leaving the country in the middle of the most disastrous national emergency. A mistruth that was immediately exposed by the photos leaked to social media that showed him lounging on a beach chair in Waikiki Beach that same week.
This week in Parliament, Scotty was again asked why he lied to country about leaving us in our time of need.
He responded to this by lying again and saying that he had privately messaged Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese to tell him his plans. The opposition leader immediately refuted this claim by saying that while Scotty had told him he was on ‘leave’ he never mentioned he would be leaving the country for two weeks.
Scotty immediately retracting his ‘I Told Albo’ lie and has tried to avoid the topic altogether for the rest of the week.
However, his reputation as a blatant liar isn’t going anywhere, with politicians from all sides of the political divide peppering him with more examples of times that he delivered complete fabrications of the truth to the Australian public.
To counter this, Scotty has had to fight fire with fire, which is what you do when you are a career public servant from the Eastern Suburbs with a glass jaw.
“ENOUGH!!!!” he roared in Parliament this afternoon, desperately attempting to repair his brand.
“I will not have my name smeared like this with these countless examples of people picking apart everything I said!”
“I AM NOT A LIAR!”
“I am merely just a simple, normal, Aussie bloke who chose politics over a career in the NRL”
The entire lower house, including members from his own government, let out a collective groan at the Prime Minister’s newest attempt at mythologising himself as an everyday battler.
“Yeah” he sneers.
“Fittler said I was pretty handy with a football. Coulda made a real go of rugby league If I wasn’t so committed to improving the lives of my fellow Australians with my honesty and integrity as their voice in Parliament”
The room then went silent, before Morrison added just a little more embellishment to the story.
“Did I mention I was the type of bloke you’d wanna pull up a seat next to at the pub”
“Handsome too”
