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Anthony Albanese’s COVID-19 diagnosis and subsequent has caused a major disruption to his election campaign, as the Opposition Leader must now isolate at home for 7 days just as he was finding his feet.
While the Labor party say that they have prepared for Albo’s inevitable battle with this virus, it is commonly acknowledged that President Trump’s 2020 campaign fell apart when he went down with the spicy cough halfway through.
Albanese has said he is in good health and would carry out his duties from home, but that’s coming from the bloke on day 1 of what will be a horrible week.
For Labor, this developtment mean, that their little known frontbench will now have to step up and carry the weight of the campaign – however, Chris Bowen has been told to keep his distance from the cameras after his catastrophic ‘you don’t have to vote for us’ moment in 2019.
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing will be taking full advantage of his temporary antibodies, and will be shaking hands with as many heavily vetted members of the public as he can.
Speaking to the media today in a pokie machine-riddled suburban tavern owned by a massive hotel conglomerate that donates millions to the Liberal Party, the PM told the media that he feels ‘blessed’ to have gotten coronavirus out of the way earlier in the year.
“I mean, obviously, I don’t want to poke fun at the opposition leader. He’s probably suffering a lot right now”
“Probably worse than I was, because he’s older than me. And quite weak”
“But yes. I did go down with covid a few months back and I was blessed to get in when I did during record-breaking climate-change aided floods and extreme internal bickering within my own party”
As the Prime Minister points out, his battle with Covid was perfectly timed, allowing him to hide away from issues that require immediate action from his government.
“Labor will find this will be a good opportunity for the backbenchers to step up. Like when Kevin Hogan, the member for Lismore, was the only Coalition representative on the North Coast of New South Wales at the height of the floods.”
“Better him getting spat at by locals than me”
“But yeah, to go down with the virus during the election. Haha. Man no one wants that”
“This is the most important part of the job. You can’t go missing during the campaign”
“He always goes missing haha”
“Has Albanese even been washing his hands? I mean, how did they not plan for this”
“Really good example of poor leadership if you ask me.”
