CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing as today shirked responsibility for another basic task, after discussions begin within the Morrison family over what they should serve on Christmas.
According to Australian folklore, today marks ‘Gravy Day’ – a cultural institution that dates back to the 1996 release of singer-songwriter Paul Kelly’s iconic song ‘How To Make Gravy’.
Gravy Day marks the date mentioned in the opening lyrics, which tell the story of an incarcerated Australian man who won’t be home with his family for Christmas.
The lyrics are presented as a letter from the prisoner, Joe, who is writing to a relative Dan, where he discusses his regret that he ‘screwed up this time’ and asks him to send his regards to the other relatives and kiss his wife and children for him.
Joe then laments about missing everyone coming together and not being there to make the gravy to go with the roast.
On December 21, Australians wish each other a “happy gravy day” in preparation for the joyous reunion of family and friends, while also discussing recipes for the upcoming Christmas Day feast.
However, as excited as this time of the year is, some of Australia’s highest-ranking public servants are livid at the idea of having to anything but the bare minimum in preparation for upcoming celebrations.
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has pushed back against the idea of him taking the reins and sorting out the gravy to serve alongside the Christmas ham and turkey – a task that most dads relish in tackling.
”Tell ‘em all I’m sorry” Morrison told his wife this afternoon, at their 5th church service for the week.
”But I don’t care what day it is. It’s time for our relatives to embrace a culture of responsibility”
”It’s time for you, Jenny, to embrace a culture of responsibility. You can’t just look to me to provide the sweetness and the extra tang”
”It shouldn’t always be on me. This is like the bushfires and the jab roll-out all over again. Why should I have to do everything?”
”I don’t hold a spatula, mate”
The nation’s most absent Prime Minister since Harold Holt is also urging Australians to take “personal responsibility” as concern grows about the spread of the Omicron variant ahead of end-of-year festivities, as he simply can’t risk becoming any more unpopular with the Australian people by doing anything that might help prevent Australia reaching the predicted 250,000 cases a day by the end of January.
