CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
After years of white-knuckling through economic pain, Australians can rejoice today as the Reserve Bank announces that interest rates will be cut for the first time in four years.
The four major banks have already announced that they will be following the lead of the RBA and passing the rate cuts on to borrowers. Meanwhile, the finance districts of each major Australian city are buzzing with excited bankers who decided to not come back into the office after lunch.
Another sector that is about to also get a lot busier is the one that carries Australia on it’s back.
That is the gruelling, exhausting and thankless work that only Australia’s stoic working men and women could conduct on our behalf. Real estate.
The property market is about to host a lot of movement, and in a rare turn of events, real estate agents will be rewarded for their efforts to keep this thing afloat.
One promising young man from the leafy suburb of Betoota Grove has today decided he might treat himself tonight, before the onslaught of cold-calls and hot inquiries begins.
As a real estate agent at the famed Clarse & Traeders realty office, local man Benny Flesche-Light is about to see a few 2% commissions walk into his office and start presenting on his desk.
“It’s good news for everyone” says Benny.
“I mean, probably not too much fun for prospective first homer buyers. But, still, this could translate into a reduction in rent. So they can look forward to that at least”
Benny says today’s announcement calls for a celebratory blow-out, with his colleagues Nigel, Hugo and Ashton.
“We’ll start at the Pheasant’s Dick in Betoota Grove for a few schooners, and then maybe pour into the city to where all the leftie freaks are” he says.
To mark this occassion, Benny is also going to spend $300 on a bag of ‘cocaine’ – which is mostly just a combination of methamphetamine, baby laxative, and crushed up panadol. In fact, for $300 this bag has also been cut to 4.1%
“It’s nothing like what you get overseas. But it’s a treat.” he says.
“And we’ve earned it”
“Better than mixing gummies with prescription drugs, anyway. That’s what we’ve been reduced during these economically uncertain times”
“But it looks like there’s hope on the arising. Thank you Peter Dutton”
