LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT
A local man has conceded this morning that his decision to tuck into a jar of iSnack 2.0 was a pretty bold move – similar to Vegemite’s decision to actually make these weird concoction in the first place.
Anthony Dugan, from the riverside district, declared that it was this decision – along with the one where he chose to put off the shopping for a few days – had led to him feeling a little less than average as he headed off to work this morning.
“Last night I was just feeling really peckish” said Anthony. “ I went for a little graze through the pantry but it was slim pickings. I went in deep though, and I spotted the jar behind the Five Spices. The seal hadn’t been popped so I thought I’d be pretty good”.
iSnack 2.0, which was unveiled by Kraft in late 2009 and discontinued by Kraft in late 2009, is an extremely rare condiment. It can only be obtained in rural antique stores and in the kitchens of people who died in 2009 and have so far gone unnoticed.
“I remember the hoo-ha about the name” recalled Dugan. “I honestly didn’t realise it was that long ago. Fuck. Me guts” he said.
As of this afternoon, Mr Dugan is in a severe but stable condition in his Mum’s bathroom in Betoota Heights. Officials say that he’ll be monitored and likely back to normal by this time tomorrow. The offending condiment has been safely discarded, with the jar listed on eBay for a price that no one will pay.
Updates as they come to hand.
