CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A modern man who has found himself increasingly fascinated by ‘the power of the universe’ and diets that contradict everything he’s ever learnt about nutrition, has today been absolutely rocked by a mildly interesting natural phenomena.
As someone who derides ‘mainstream media’ as being controlled and takes in very little local news, one white collar Australian man, Ken (35), is under the impression that the biggest news story of the day is the solar eclipse that took place on the other side of the planet overnight.
This astronomical spectacle of a total solar eclipse, which only occurs every couple of decades, caused great excitement in North America on Monday afternoon, at least for the tens of millions of people in Mexico, the US and Canada who were in the right party of the world to witness the dazzling celestial show.
Almost 32 million people were in the path of totality as the moon’s shadow crossed the Mexico-Texas border at lunchtime, meaning that every modern day comedian/influencer in Austin were quick to post lacklustre photographs that do not do the eclipse justice on social media.
In an event that could only be explained by religion in millenniums gone by, entire cities were plunged into sudden darkness and experienced a spooky drop in temperature in the middle of the day.
However, regardless of the supernatural vibes that permeated through North America and on social media last night, this is not necessarily a new thing.
As of roughly 3000 years ago, the concept of a solar eclipse has been pretty well explained by even the most amateur of astronomers.
However, this has not stopped Ken from banging on about it at work all day.
“Did you say the eclipse, bro” he asks another likeminded elk-meat-enthusiast.
“Yeah bro. Did you?” says the colleague.
Ken is quick to point out he too did see the eclipse.
“Yeah bro”
“Well like, online I did.”
“It’s so crazy to think of how big this universe is. Like it’s so awesome. We are just a speck really. Aliens have gotta be real hey. It’s so funny how many people don’t aliens exist. Like there is straight up evidence of them being here on earth. Also it’s so funny that everyone thinks everything is explained by science. Like there’s obviously something else going on. Oi are you watching UFC 300 this weekend?”
