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A local Samoan bloke, Junior Leota (29), has made the easy but painful mistake of wearing a black shirt to the pub tonight.
Junior, who has hit the tiles tonight to celebrate his brothers engagement, was initially struggling with all the confusion.
“Why does everyone keep showing me their I.D?” said the puzzled man.
“Every time I went into the bathroom people would scatter”
“Then I looked in the mirror and realised I’d done it again”
At 6’4 and 120 kegs, Junior said that wearing the black shirt definitely had its benefits.
“The first venue we went to was pretty crowded, but when I got in people parted like the red sea”
“I think it was then that I realised that everyone thought I was a security guard because I’mm a tall Islander wearing a black shirt” he reflected.
“I spose the scars on my eyebrows and cauliflowers ears don’t help. But that’s from playing footy, not from manhandling drunken bucks parties”
Witnesses reported that while Junior was smoking a cheeky dart out the front, a huge line began to form without him even noticing.
“I was just looking at my phone and suddenly I look up and there’s a line of 20 people in front of me”
“I didn’t quite know what to do, I just ignored them the whole time”
“The line only got bigger to be honest”
“These people didn’t think to ask whether it was inappropriate for a bouncer to be double parked on Jim Beams and punching a dart?”
Junior’s confusion only deepened as the night went on. Some guy handed him a fistful of drink tickets. “I had no idea what was happening, but free drinks, right?” he laughed.
Then it got weirder. A woman handed him a water bottle and asked, “Can you kick my boyfriend out? He’s had too much and ruining the vibe” mistaking him for a security guard. “I just walked away,” Junior said.
Despite the confusion, the perks rolled in. “At one club, they waved me through the VIP line. Didn’t even check my I.D.”
By the end, Junior embraced it. “I was clearing paths on the dance floor, breaking up fights. Might’ve kicked out a couple of blokes.”
The night ended with the real bouncers thanking him.
“Turns out our grandparents are from the same village back home” Junior laughed.
