LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact
With less Australians signing up to receive the Covid jab than predicted, Senator Jacquie Lambie has called upon the government to spend big on an advertising campaign encouraging people to please get vaccinated against a virus that has literally killed millions.
Having felt the extreme shame of Jacqui Lambie being the voice of reason, part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison has decided to heed the Tasmanian Senators advice and start a widespread promotional campaign for Australians to get the Covid jab.
Unfortunately for everyone with a working set of ears & eyes, the Prime Minister was seen running into a North Sydney advertising agency holding the biggest milkshake he could find.
“Now let’s imagine this milkshake is a vaccine,” stated the PM while standing so close to the giant milkshake that it could easily be mistaken for a pre-shafted Malcolm Turnbull.
“If you take a sip, you could be protected against Covid, but you need to have another sip. Luckily there are lots of sips. Drink a milkshake, get a jab! Too easy! Write that down.”
The boardroom of urban creatives who would rather admit their love for Coldplay than ever vote for him, began making half-spirited suggestions that this government should avoid all milkshake related metaphors before agreeing to do whatever mad shit he wanted in exchange for government pay cheques.
They were then treated to hours of Scotty’s tagline suggestions with stories of his time at Tourism Australia being the only respite.
“How about, ‘get your shake, get your jab? ‘Or ‘shake into a new vaccine today!’ Anyone just yell something out if you think of it-not now, I’m still talking. Oh! What about ‘milky vaccinations for all Australians!’ Surely that’s an ’aha moment!’”
“We’re shake shake shaking up the vaccines so unless you’re a Christian Scientist you should get some! Hey all the boys, watcha doing in my yard? Haha, you get it? Write that down.”
The campaign is expected to cost 16 million dollars.
MORE TO COME.
