CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Millions of dads around the country have just demanded complete and absolute silence from the other members of the household, as the Prime Minister goes live with his most recent address.
“Oi shut up!” they shout, to the wife and children, who are all currently taking part in different group video chats at different corners of the family home.
“Cut that shit out”
“Scotty’s on!”
“He reckons we’ve jumped up 431 new cases since yesterday.”
“Looks like he’s changed his mind on the hairdressers. Thank Christ”
As at 6:00am on 29 March 2020, there have been 3,809 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia.
With a vast majority of new cases directly linked to the Ruby Princess cruise ship, dads around the nation are now quickly pretending that they’ve never entertained the idea of spending three weeks drinking piss on an all expenses sea voyage.
“Who in their right bloody mind would go on one of those floating RSLs”
At time of press, the nation’s dads were swearing about how ludicrous it is that Queenslanders had to go out to the booth and vote yesterday.
