CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
For the first time in a decade, the Governor-General of Australia will not be a former member of the Australian military top brass.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has today made the extremely soft cock decision to appoint a new Governor-General who has not even completed basic weapons training, let alone fire a gun at someone.
Samantha Mostyn will be Australia’s 28th Governor-General and the second woman to hold the position, after Quentin Bryce briefly held the position when that soft cock Kevin Rudd snuck her in amongst the retired army colonels that take the reigns whenever the Liberal Party is in power.
Albanese said this morning that the appointment had been approved by King Charles III, who is also a soft cock because he won’t stop banging on about climate change and biodiversity.
She will be sworn into office on July 1 this year at Parliament House, replacing current Governor-General David Hurley.
Mostyn, a prominent businesswoman, is the president of Chief Executive Women and the first woman to become a commissioner for the AFL – the most soft cock of all football codes.
She shares the same soft cock interests as Albanese and King Charles III, namely her commitment to environmentalism and gender equity.
She was made an Officer of the Order of Australia in 2021.
It is not yet certain what the Governor-General actually does, apart from that one time when they sacked a Prime Minister because he was doing too much stuff.
However after the last two Governor-Generals – David Hurley and Sir Peter Cosgrove – managed to get through the last Coalition government without sacking Prime Minister Scott Morrison, it became clear that the era where our head-of-state takes it upon themselves to intervene in Federal Politics is over.
While Albanese faces backlash for this soft cock decision from his political rivals and the Australian media, concerns of a potential constitutional crisis have been quelled after it was revealed that Mostyn is from a military family. Which is a relief.
