One local surfer, Felix Ettelson (26), has today made the grave mistake of driving his mother’s Lexus from his 4-bedroom house to Betoota’s state of the art, man-made wave dam.
A seemingly innocuous act to the non-surfing community, however, to those in the know, it is a double faux pas that’s considered nearly as bad as being a body-boarder.
Not only does Felix drive a car, but he also lives in a house, as opposed to a van which is every other surfer’s portable home of choice.
“Oi boys, check out that kook over there getting his board out of a car!” Yelled the alpha male, Aarron Upton, who often gets called Azza by his crew.
“A car?” sourly questioned a number of the surfers, the word feeling both unnatural and unpleasant on the tongue.
The Advocate understands, that Felix, oblivious to their prejudice, paddled out to where the other surfers were waiting for their turn at the dam’s perfect barrel.
“Fellas, how are we?” asked Felix with the enthusiasm of a dumb puppy.
“Where’d you come from, mate?” asked Aarron, clearly using the term mate in a derogatory sense.
“Oh, I live around the corner, my mum’s got a place”
“What, like, permanently?” asked one of the surfers, disgusted by Felix.
“Yeah” Replied Felix, unsure what the big deal was.
“Oi boys, this gronk drives a car and lives in a house!” All the surfers burst out laughing and began taunting Felix, calling him ‘house boy’ repeatedly.
Sources close to Felix have told us that he has started to sleep in his outdoor cubby house in an attempt to look cooler in front of the other surfers the next time he is out – however, Felix has a lot of ground to make up as he was also spotted wearing a collared shirt on his way to a job on Monday.
More to come.
