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Sydney is at risk of becoming “the city with no grandchildren” – a senior government official has warned, as generational inequity drives young families to relocate and spread the housing crisis to regional towns.

According to the NSW Productivity Commission, Sydney lost about 35,000 people aged 30-40 between 2016 and 2021 – as it became clear to young people that achieving any form of financial mobility in Australia’s largest metropolitan area was simply impossible as long as the government remained committed to turning the city into a culturally sterile and quiet holding paddock for baby boomers who want to live near good coffee and hospitals but have no interest in the riff raff that comes with a working class.

Those fleeing cite housing affordability as a factor behind their decision, but the government’s decision to cripple the night time economy with draconian lockout laws aimed at quietening the city and spike property value might also play a pretty big part.

With towns Orange and Coffs Harbour offering far more vibrant nightlife than any of the now depressing venues in the city that have since been turned into sleepy pokie dens, young people are asking themselves what the point is of living in the city if they can’t even watch a band play music without the joint being shut down at 10pm after noise complaints from gentrifying neighbours who can’t hear their BBC murder mysteries over the sound of a guitar next door.

The productivity commissioner says the loss of this age group has major implications for the economy, because old and fucked property investors have no interest in digging holes or working in hotels as part of the workforce traditionally made up of young people who are able to live within 45 minutes of the CBD.

However, Surry Hills transplant baby boomer, Francis Garvey (68) says young people should just put up with the economic hardship and keep turning up to their jobs at the hospital every time she has indigestion.

“Young people need to stop looking for shortcuts and just play the cards they’ve been dealt”

“It’s not like things were that easy when I bought this place for 11,000 dollars when the government kicked out all of the Aboriginal housing tenants for the Olympics… And now it’s my problem that young people find it too difficult to call me a neighbour. Give me a break”

“I am a caucasian post-war Australian. I have never made a compromise in my entire life and I’m not going to start now!”

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