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In news that has thrilled the baby boomer property investors and real estate agents that benefit directly from the cultural sterilisation of the once rowdy and exciting Sydney nightlife, organisers of the iconic Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras have announced the festival’s Fair Day event will be cancelled due to asbestos concerns.
The event was set to take place in Victoria Park in Camperdown, where mulch containing bonded asbestos was discovered on Monday.
Fair Day is one of the Mardi Gras festival’s largest events, attended by over 70,000 people each year, many of who travel from overseas with pockets full of tourism dollars to take part in the eccentricities and fun that Sydney once had to offer as an international city.
But it seems those days might be over, as all levels of government – and the property speculation industry they have become dependent on – begin looking beyond tourism and nightlife to more sustainable ways of bolstering the economy.
Namely, encouraging cashed up retirees and foreign students with oligarch parents purchase every home and apartment within 45 minutes of the CBD while the police and legislators work tirelessly to sterilise the streets of any form of cultural vibrance or working class families.
While still aesthetically pleasing, the city’s unique bohemian spark is fading. Gone are the days of Brett Whiteley and Jimmy Barnes eating their breakfast at Sweethearts – Sydney is now focused on sterilising its streets and further blow air into an ever-expanding property bubble that analysts cannot predict, understand or stop. The city has restricted the retail hours of music venues and ethnic fast food outlets, and all public transport services end before midnight. The once dodgy and wild streets of Sydney now looks like Pompeii after the archeologists cracked through the rocks
The glamorous drag queens who once glided down the pavements of Oxford Street have been replaced by parking inspectors and food delivery cyclists, as the city’s remaining youth cut their losses and download TV-streaming services to fill the King Cross-sized hole in their young adulthood.
And while the Gay and Lesbian community have come to be known as the most tolerable minorities to ever grace these streets, unfortunately their little parties make a bit too much noise.
However, local government officials says that residents should be thankful for their decision to mulch the cities parks with asbestos, because it’s a two-birds-one-stone solution that not only cancels the gay party but will also likely kill all the homeless people who have been pushed into the cities green spaces to find shelter.
