CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a triggering throwback to the beginning of the pandemic, Sydney supermarkets are once again being overwhelmed by panic-buying.
Right across the Harbour City, hundreds of thousands of single blokes are storming the shelves of grocery stores in a last minute dash to secure themselves a stash of the ultimate chick magnet.
This comes as the NSW Government announced plans to implement new social distancing rules as of Tuesday this week.
The new watered down restrictions mean all venues, except gyms and nightclubs, are now able to have one person for every 2 square metres.
The changes also mean standing will be allowed outside at hospitality venues (but not indoors), 50 people are allowed on indoor dance floors and there is now no limit on the number of people attending weddings, funerals and places of worship.
However, it is the dancefloors that have gotten the attention of Sydney’s bachelors, many who have suffered through a rather lengthy drought since lockdown.
It is for this reason that LYNX Africa supplies now flying of the shelves right across the country – as blokes prepare to hit the d-floor and open mouth pash some potential suitors.
Once described as the great Australian fragrance, Lynx Africa is now being identified the sole cause of teenage pregnancy across the country.
The independent study commissioned by the department of health suggests that the unique scent is responsible for nearly all under 20 hook ups.
However, consumer behaviour reports have found that the iconic deoderlogne also follows bachelors well into the adulthood, as many blokes can’t look past the success it gifted them in their formative years.
Woolworths and Coles have since implemented a 1 x unit per person limit for all Lynx Africa for the immediate future.
This decision has been met with backlash, with many blokes complaining that one whole can is not enough to last their first weekend back bumpin n grindin.
MORE TO COME.
Also, please feel free to buy our book in time for Christmas: https://betootaoutfitters.com/products/australia-2020
