LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The boon of some decent gossip in the form of a teen pregnancy has blessed a regional town suffering through the crippling burden of a gossip drought.
Two hours south of Betoota CBD in the town of Mt Quilby, checkout workers, hairdressers and grey-haired women have been doing it tough as the 2018 winter had been the lowest harvest of any gossip season since 1956.
According to one cashier, Nola Horton (64) the news of a teen pregnancy couldn’t come soon enough as she was considering quitting if she had to talk about the weather with one more customer.
“Oh it was so awful,” said Horton through a pair of lipstick slathered teeth.
“It’s such a relief to hear Jude’s boy has gone and got his leg over with the parishioner’s daughter. I heard she got kicked out and has gone in with Jude again and she doesn’t like her because of her tattoo. Did you know about that one?”
Leader of Mt Quilby CWA Nel Fraiser (66) says this news has been a relief to all the town’s hardworking women who were forced to talk about their feelings and life expectations without having any decent goss to fill the air.
“It was that much harder to spin a yarn during the gossip drought,” stated the chit-chat matriarch.
“I have to tell you I was worried about the town wasn’t going to make it but now that Lucie’s youngest is expecting, I think everything is going to be alright. 15-years-old can you believe it? Apparently, she doesn’t even know how to cook!”
According to Fraiser, now that they have something to talk about, the Mt Quilby CWA will be able to band together and do something about the actual drought facing their town, that has already claimed the lives of an estimated 1,500 head of cattle, 900 of which belong to the grandparents to be.
