CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local printer salesman, Shayde Gisinger (34) has decided that it’s time for a clean slate.
A recent work trip to the Goldie has left him thinking that maybe this shit hole hometown is no longer the place for him, and maybe the glitter strip could be more than just a sinful colonial settlement that specialises in hosting bucks parties and drunken work conferences.
This comes after the most spectacular break up in Shayde’s storied history of toxic relationships. One that was triggered by his short-term but long-suffering girlfriend stumbling across incriminating iMessage conversations that he had unwittingly linked to his iPad.
With the type of job that is seemingly impossible to get fired from, and more cash coming in than he knows what to do with his – it’s time for the big fella to make a change.
Shayde’s penchant for extreme womanising and his odd dabbling with unbridled alcohol-fuelled violence has seen him left behind by a social circle that is more than content with the white picket fence and a couple kids.
Because that’s not what Shayde’s looking for. Not right now anyway.
What he needs is a normalised strip club culture. He needs the occasional mid-week blow out with fireball shots and high-rise kick ons. He needs a new group of mates that are bikie adjacent.
Shayde is moving to the Goldie. Shayde NEEDS the Goldie.
Of course this is not at all part of his pitch. The yarn that Shayde’s been spinning is that the Gold Coast is an up and coming real estate gold mine and one of the fastest-growing cities in Australia. The work opportunities are endless, and the beaches are beautiful blah blah blah.
What he’s not mentioning is the heavily botoxed Titans cheerleaders that he will gladly spent a week’s wage trying to swoon. Or the marijuana permit that just arrived in the mail. Or hsi plans for a full sleeve coi fish tattoo.
“Bro you’ve gotta come visit when I get settled in” says Shayde, with a scary twinkle in his eye.
“Oi have you ever done GHB?”
