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The most exciting thing to happen in Sydney since the Rabbitohs won the 2014 NRL Grand Final is upon us. The Council Elections.
With the biggest city in Australia now reduced to a culture-less cesspool of overvalued real estate dominating by downsizing boomers, the only time that anyone gathers together in public is for either property auctions or elections.
Unless you’re looking for a 38 dollar steak or an 19 dollar negroni, there is no reason for Sydneysiders to leave the house! This is why it’s fun to see people handing out flyers on the street – even they are the last people you’d ever want to socialise with.
Voters will cast their ballots in local council elections taking place across NSW this Saturday, in a riveting democratic process that decides which councillors will represent their constituents in each electorate.
With a week to go until the big day, the last remaining young people are now picking out their flashy election outfits, as they prepare to hit the streets of this uninspiring city full of elderly noise-complaint specialists and the migrant workers who commute hours to service them
And the one issue that will define this upcoming council election: should the joyful sounds of youth be banned entirely from Parramatta to Bondi beach.
While the Harbour is a breath-takingly spectacular part of this city, it is both a gift and a curse.
Obviously Sydney’s beauty means that a lot of people want to live there. When you pair that with nationwide property ponzi scheme, the only people who can actually afford to live there are the same boomers who have spent the last twenty years campaigning for lock-out laws and tougher fines for live music venues that interrupt their BBC murder mysteries.
But with the city’s slightly redneck little brother of Brisbane preparing to host the entire world for the 2032 Olympics in 8 years – Sydney now has a problem: the very likely possibility that none of these global tourists will venture further south than the Gold Coast.
So this weekend will decide if the city continues down this path of serving no purpose other than to warehouse cashed up boomers who hate noisy pubs and restaurant kitchens, or do they start championing the long lost artfrom known as ‘night life’.
With the state Liberal Party failing to nominate 140 candidates, it is the duty of all incumbent councillors to fight for this ban on youthful joy – having already found such success in napalming any form of culture from the city outside of stupid light festivals and prohibitively expensive stage shows.
