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High school teachers and parents around Australia are today in mourning, after it became clear that a good portion of this year’s wave of senior students have likely destroyed all of their career prospects upon graduation.
This follows the release of the newest reboot of the wildly popular video game Fortnite, which was dropped yesterday after players spent nearly two days staring at a swirling black hole that had swallowed the map.
“Chapter 2” as it is commonly known by the type of kids that are allowed to have energy drinks and stay up past midnight, was horrifically released just 24 hours before the first HSC exam of 2019.
The Higher School Certificate (HSC) is the credential awarded to secondary school students in New South Wales who successfully complete senior high school level studies – Years 11 AND 12 or equivalent.
Outside of New South Wales it is also known by more state-specific names, such as the Victorian Certificate of Education, the South Australian Certificate of Education, the Tasmanian Certificate of Education, the Western Australian Certificate of Education or the ACT Scaling Test. There is no Queensland equivalent.
The HSC exams carry a reputation as cause of severe pressure and stress for students, as parents and sometimes even teachers often treat the certificate as the be all and end all of one’s adult life.
However, the creators of the wildly addictive Fortnite appear to have destroyed any chance of last minute cramming and exam preparation for thousands of young Australians.
They are being blamed for what is expected to be an underwhelming year for Australian school leavers.
“We thought all these kids striking from school for the climate was going to be bad enough” says Minister for Education, Dan Tehan MP.
“Turns out this video game has put a few more kids out of action”
“Luckily, the planet will be in such a poor state by the they finish their respective TAFE courses that no one will really be expecting them to get a job”
Scott Morrison has also backed his Ministers comments.
“How good are video games” said the Prime Minister.
“If I was you kids, I’d be getting to know that new map they just released on Fortnite, because your not gonna see any water that blue or grass that green in the real world”
“Now let us pray”
