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Former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has this week revealed that he’s not exactly confident in the leadership of one of the most incompetent politicians he’s ever had the great displeasure of calling a colleague
The unemployed multi-millionaire from Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs has accused the one-millionaire Prime Minister from Sydney’s Eastern suburbs of damaging Australia’s national security interests by sucking up to the two other countries in the AUKUS agreement.
Turnbull says there was no need to lick the boots of Boris Johnson and Joe Biden so publicly, considering how close our three nations already were to begin with.
He also condemned the current government’s reckless decision to treat France with contempt by pulling out of the previously inked non-nuclear submarine deal, warning it may take years to repair diplomatic relations.
Turnbull revealed he had spoken with the French President, probably in fluent French, despite the Prime Minister being unable to secure a phone call. Just like how he couldn’t secure a phone call with Pfizer executives, or Brittany Higgins.
“This is an appalling episode in Australia’s international affairs and the consequences of it will endure to our disadvantage for a very long time,” Mr Turnbull said.
In an address to the National Press Club, Turnbull revealed that watching Morrison commit to Britain’s international climate targets, while also attempting to convince carbon-exposed voters and mining executives that nothing was going to change, has been quite cringeworthy.
“The man truly is an idiot” said Turnbull.
“I tried to keep my mouth shut, but he’s dishing up the same focus-grouped bullshit to world leaders.”
“It’s one thing to constantly betray and blame-shift onto your state premiers. But France isn’t Victoria. It’s a country that is much more economically important, and much more influential than we are”
While Turnbull says he realises that his comments will be written off as jealousy that stems from him being rolled as PM, he also says he doesn’t “give a fuck about playing nice with this happy clapping moron anymore”
“Morrison’s time as Prime Minister is starting to mirror the Cronulla Sharks 2021 season”
“Not that he understands that metaphor. He only started supporting them the day he and Murdoch pulled off the racist anti-Lebanese smear campaign against Michael Towke, the original winner of the 2007 Liberal pre-selection for his seat in Cronulla”
