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After not yet receiving a job at NAB or Macquarie Bank, former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is beginning to regret his retirement from Federal Politics.
Especially after today’s news that the 2019 Archibald Prize has already been announced, without any Australian artists so much as asking him if he would sit for a painting.
Turnbull’s deep-seated longing to be remembered as an icon of the left has once again left him in a state of deep personal turmoil, after one of his last few desired badges was missed in this year’s round of finalist paintings.
Speaking to the media this morning, Turnbull has begun to question why he even bothered allowing these entitled creatives access to 0.09% of the Federal Budget.
“For what!?” he snarled at our reporters.
“So that they can paint TV personalities!?”
In it’s 97th year, the prize often attracts thousands of entrants submitting portraits of either themselves, former politicians, other artists, or an assortment of prominent public figures that are popular amongst white people.
Turnbull, who believes he fits into at least two of those categories, is now beginning to question why he even left politics.
“Aside from Joe Hockey’s job in Washington, this was the last box I wanted to tick in my storied career as a generic wealthy Eastern Suburb professional!”
“If I don’t get painted by Anh Doh on his TV show next season… Then that’s it!”
“I’ll be running for One Nation as a NSW senate candidate before you can say white male fragility!”
